Goomba ([info]i_am_the_owl) wrote,
2006-01-08 06:50:00
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  • Mood: weird
  • Music: The Rogues - Guinness Dog

Fuck dyin', I'll hijack a mech.

//


If:
Due to the serious nature of some recent allegations regarding my character and behavior, I have decided to enlist the services of a crack PR rep, who has been kind enough to prepare a statement that can be found here.

Then:"See, in my line of work you've got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in; to kind of catapult the propaganda."-President George W. Bush

Else:
Truth be told, I'm actually from the future. You see, the world ends in the year 2024 and they sent me back to stop it from happening. Instead, I've taken this opportunity to seduce all of the women that did/would have snubbed my past/future self (depending on your perspective). Surprise!

I'm just playin', ya'll ... the world doesn't end until 2028.

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  • 23 comments

[info]wifflebatgaijin

January 8 2006, 16:05:55 UTC 6 years ago

You must have done something right, because I'm on the same mission, only I'm from the year 2035

[info]i_am_the_owl

January 8 2006, 20:23:27 UTC 6 years ago

You mean I stopped the world ending by seducing women and drinking and ultimately shirking my responsibilities?

WHAT IRONY!

[info]im_uh_waste

January 8 2006, 17:09:44 UTC 6 years ago

suprise sex...
that made my morning.

[info]i_am_the_owl

January 8 2006, 20:26:19 UTC 6 years ago

Glad it was good for you, too!

Deleted comment

[info]i_am_the_owl

January 8 2006, 20:25:09 UTC 6 years ago

Yeah. I can dig up the statement its from if you want.

[info]bondage_siren

January 8 2006, 20:10:04 UTC 6 years ago

While you have surprise sexed me during sleep on several occasions, and I was quite shocked when I awoke, I will say that it was never without my consent.

Kyle Greiner is not a rapist.
Vote Kyle Greiner for omnipotent potentate in 2024!

[info]i_am_the_owl

January 8 2006, 20:24:30 UTC 6 years ago

Huzzah!

[info]wifflebatgaijin

January 9 2006, 01:39:32 UTC 6 years ago

That is the most brilliant, well put campaign slogan I've ever heard....

*surprise sex's you*

[info]bondage_siren

January 9 2006, 03:44:18 UTC 6 years ago

If you want to surprise sex me, you're going to have to fill out the necessary paperwork and then wait 6-8 weeks for proper administrative consent and sanctioning

[info]wifflebatgaijin

January 9 2006, 03:46:00 UTC 6 years ago

I already did, I'm waiting upon the response.

[info]bondage_siren

January 9 2006, 03:53:47 UTC 6 years ago

I'm sorry, we seem to have misplaced your documents. If you wish to register a complaint, please fill out form C section 13 under "Where the fuck has my form gone" in triplicate and send those to our represntatives in Cambodia who will assess your situation.

Thank you for using Surprise Sex Corp, where rape is or isn't a crime depending on the way you look at it.
Have a nice day.

[info]wifflebatgaijin

January 9 2006, 03:57:09 UTC 6 years ago

*reminds you that these aren't the droids you're looking for*

*slips you $50*

Find my paper work now?

[info]bondage_siren

January 9 2006, 04:03:33 UTC 6 years ago

Terribly sorry, sir, but I cannot assist in this situation.

Please fill out the proper forms, or kindly take up your problem with our North office. A Mr.B. Franklin might be able to authorize your case.

[info]wifflebatgaijin

January 9 2006, 04:32:48 UTC 6 years ago

I have filled out the proper forms, and I've already been to the north office.

And Mr. B Franklin was an asshole. You guys need immediate improvement on your customer service.

[info]theyallhaveone

January 9 2006, 07:38:18 UTC 6 years ago

Will Dunlap is a giant douche bag. I am a big fan of surprise sex.

[info]theyallhaveone

January 9 2006, 07:38:42 UTC 6 years ago

Those are all facts.

[info]pardonme329

January 10 2006, 10:51:41 UTC 6 years ago

I thought it ended in 2012. April, 21st at 10:24am or something.
Or at least according to the Mayan calendar...

[info]i_am_the_owl

January 10 2006, 16:40:59 UTC 6 years ago

Since when do the Mayans know anything?

[info]transygirl85

January 15 2006, 21:53:42 UTC 6 years ago

ahahahahahahaha, I like that term...*must remember* surprise sex, eh? *winks*

[info]i_am_the_owl

January 15 2006, 22:03:12 UTC 6 years ago

Oh yeah!

[info]transygirl85

January 15 2006, 23:46:29 UTC 6 years ago

*surprise sexes you*

you have been sexed!

[info]i_am_the_owl

January 15 2006, 23:50:16 UTC 6 years ago

O_O
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